No Mow May Idiots Keep Missing the Point, Ashley Steps Up to Fill the Void
Xandra Pohljoins the race for Cowgirl of the Year, seals victory with a decisive catch, and introduces a fresh, wild male counterpart.
It didn't take long for the man-children who think letting their grass grow three feet high is saving the bee population to pipe up. One such moron, Tyler, decided to comment on my No Mow May article, calling me out for being a "deranged boomer."
I couldn't help but respond, asking if he'd really be okay with his neighbors letting their grass grow three feet high. His response? A bunch of gibberish that didn't answer my question. No surprise there; these No Mow May folks are intellectually bankrupt.
- Tyler wrote:
"Life is about perspective, and I am indifferent to plants doing what they are supposed to. In no way does the existence of plant life equate to Venezuelan fentanyl dealers."
"At the end of the day, we're all entitled to mow our lawns and post our opinions online, so f--- it, I wish you the best."
Me:
Tyler, you idiot, I never said that plant life equates to drug dealers. I said that letting your yard grow uncontrollably because of some misguided notion that you're saving the bees is ridiculous, and it makes neighborhoods look like hellholes.
Ashley to the rescue:
Thanks for writing this, Kinsey. As a self-proclaimed Millennial (Tyler, you should take notes), I understand the lure of virtue-signaling, but this No Mow May crap takes it to a whole new level. Here's my take:
*1. I raised my four boys to mow the lawn every Thursday. When they grew up and moved out, my neighbor asked why I was creating curvy stripes in the grass. I told her I was out of boys. *
*2. My boys were taught to never have an overgrown lawn, cars parked on the grass, or a couch outside. *
3. Tyler, you can spell "f---" but not "Believe"? We learned that in third grade.
Me:
Thank you, Ashley. I'm glad to have your perspective on this nonsense. Keep on fighting the good fight.
And if you share my frustration, don't be shy about reaching out. I'll do my best to protect your identity while giving your thoughts a platform. Email me at [email protected] or find my personal Gmail if you prefer.
The Case Against No Mow May
Imagine being a parent today and telling your child they can't play in the yard because some self-righteous moron next door insists on letting their lawn grow uncontrollably in the name of saving bees.
That's the world we live in now thanks to No Mow May idiots like Tyler. They'd rather let their yards turn into jungles than admit how stupid this trend is.
If you think I'm exaggerating, take a drive through your neighborhood. If you're seeing plenty of nicely maintained lawns, count your blessings. If you're surrounded by No Mow May disasters, it's time to speak up and demand accountability.
Email me at [email protected] or find my personal Gmail if you're ready to stand up for your rights as a homeowner and parent.
Final Thoughts
The world has gone mad, and it's up to people like you and me to maintain some semblance of sanity. Don't let these No Mow May freaks control your neighborhood. Stand up for your rights and for common sense.
Email me if you want to join the fight for better lawn care standards. Trust me; I'll protect your identity and give your voice a platform.
[email protected] or find my personal Gmail. Let's put an end to this No Mow May madness once and for all.
- Ashley, with her understanding of the lure of virtue-signaling, stated that the No Mow May trend, as exhibited by Tyler, takes it to a whole new level.
- Ashley, in her take on the No Mow May issue, shared that she raised her sons to maintain their lawns, neither letting them grow uncontrollably nor parking cars on the grass.
- In response to Tyler's comment about plant life equating to Venezuelan fentanyl dealers, Ashley humorously stated that Tyler should learn to spell "Believe," a word they learned in third grade.
- Ashley, grasping the absurdity of No Mow May, suggested that parents should stand up for their rights, protect their children's play areas, and demand accountability from those who let their lawns grow uncontrollably.
- Amidst the No Mow May chaos, Ashley's stand for common sense and proper lawn care serves as an inspiration to those who resent the trend and want to restore order in their neighborhoods.
- Relishing her role as a advocate for better lawn care standards, Joe Kinsey invites readers who are passionate about this issue to join him in his fight and offers protection of their identities while giving their voices a platform to be heard.
